sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
no you cant smoke seaweed
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
