Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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