Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I smell stomach acid.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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