Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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