I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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