I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
