Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
