She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
