Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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