best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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