At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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