Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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