A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
