Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize