After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
