Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
