How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Bring me that man meat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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