with your own penis?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
