ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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