I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
