the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
