I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
