Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
