just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize