She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
