wrigley field is MILF paradise
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
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