I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
