That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
