i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize