The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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