It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize