Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
