i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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