If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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