? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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