i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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