Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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