So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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