Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
