dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
