All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
