honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize