Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
