Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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