Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize