the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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