Non-Jews are for practice
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I only lived at night.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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