So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
