I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
