It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
ok first of all what the fuck
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
