Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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