Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
