i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize