Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
