Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
