No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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